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My personal favorites

Total 21 Pictures

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This guy I met in Aso had the BEST Engrish sweater ever, and I want it really bad.

"I'M MORE BETTER EVERYONE. I'M MORE BESTEST"

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"EMERGENCY DOOR COCK"

Commentary: Hehehehe.

Location: The JR train from Kumamoto to Fukuoka.

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"please give up smoking"

Commentary: This is the kind of Engrish that just warms the heart. Since this was found inside a bathroom stall, I'm fairly confidant that they meant not to smoke (while in the stall), but instead gave a very touching message by accident.

Location: A bathroom stall in a nice restaurant in Fukuoka.

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"Couque D'asses"

Commentary: Bwahahahahahaha.

Location: A box of cookies in Taiyo (A walmart-style store) in Hondo.

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"A.S.S"

Commentary: Can't say he didn't warn ya.

Location: A guy who we climbed the mountain with... (he was actually pretty nice).

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"love child!"

Commentary: These folks are brave, most Japanese look down on this kind of thing.

Location: A car in the parking lot of JUSCO (another walmart-style store) in Hondo.

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"Sit on the stone step above this, it lies down, or eating and drinking and smoking are forbidden"

Assumed translation: "Do not sit, lie down, eat, drink, or smoke on stairs."

Location: Found outside a temple-looking building at the festival in Tokyo mentioned in Journal. By the way, there were tons of people sitting, lying down, eating, drinking, and smoking on these steps.

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"A GREAT IMPROVEMENT ON YOUR LAST.

I HOPE THAT YOU IMPROVE AS MACH AS

POSSIBLE IN READING WRITING

AND DRAWING

THE MORE HURRY, THE SPEED.

I AM ALWAYS IN IMPROVEMENT!"

(Underline added)

Commentary: I hope the people who made this helmet improve as mach as possible in reading and writing.

Location: One of my co-workers' moped helmet.

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The lovely Janet displaying an excellent source of Engrish.

"FREE CARE CAR WAS TO BE COME MIDDLE NOTE"

Commentary: Free car? Car wash? I dunno what the middle note is all about. Maybe it has something to do with the pear in the background.

Location: I think it was taken in Taiyo in Hondo City, a huge wal-mart type store.

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"MAKE BONG ROCK FOR PEOOLE."

Commentary: Priceless. PEOOLE!

Location: The shirt of a girl in a pasta restaurant in Hondo City.

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"GLARE

grin like a shot fox

PIECE OF LUCK CRAZE

Dirt Fmp."

Commentary: I don't think a fox would be grinning after it got shot. What's Fmp?

Location: The PE teacher's 3 year old daughter was wearing this shirt, but I felt weird taking a close up shot of her chest and posting it on the internet, so I asked her to bring it to the next lesson.

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"IT'S SPEND THE IGHT TOGETHER RUBY TCESDAY PLAY WITH FIEE SATI SF ACTION - BLACK STONE - THE TOUGHO GUYS - GET OFF HY COLUD - AN DH EW LOOG OLD HAM - COME ON - THE LANTERN BY THE TOUGO - I WANNA BE YOUR MAN - I UST WANNA MAKE LOVE TO YOU - GUYS EAVE YOU SEEN TOU RND THER! - BILL WYNANS IN ANOTREB LANOIT'S ALL OVER NOW LET'S - THE TOUGO GUYS NO EXPECTATIONS PAINT I - BADY!STANDING IN THE SEADGWI - NO MARK AWAY - BEARTO"

Commentary: Nicholas Cage could use this belt to find buried treasure, to everyone else, it's useless.

Location: A belt I bought for about a buck cause it was hilarious. Purchased in a hyaku-en store in Hondo City. (I count this as one picture)

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"Gentle breeze comes through clear high day and it is very refleshing here.

In the middle of the bright green. we are spending pleasand time."

Commentary: I have to say the highlight of this one is the spelling errors, but the content is pretty funny too.

Location: An envelope from a stationary set bought by a friend in a hyaku-en (dollar) store.

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The next three were all taken in my hotel room in Kumamoto City. This place was a gold mine.

A card they give everyone at check-in. Highlights include:

"Please relax slowly."

"A visitor's room is"

The entire bottom part is hilarious:

"Since guidance of a blame course figure is inside the door of the room,please check.

The key of the room is an automatic lock.In case you come from the room,be sure to have a key.Please be sure to deposit with a front office in the case of going out.

Please withhold the yukata in inside of a hall.

A meeting in the room should withhold."

Commentary: Amazingly, they spelled everything correctly, but that's about all I can say. They even messed up the spacing.

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"Guidance of a feature on hire

In order to relax with the further convenience to a visitor,I lend out the following things ,and am preparing as business.

In addition, since there is a limitation in a loan thing at the number, ask the first floor front(extension of No.2)in the case of use.

Loan thing list...

...In addition, sightseeing guidance,and each high-speed bus timetable - I am preparing in the Kumamoto airport going limousine timetable,the Kumamoto harbor(Nagasu harbor)ferry timetable,and each airport timetable etc.,etc."

Commentary: Whoa. Anyone know what a Sphygmomanometer is?

Update: Apparently a Sphygmomanometer is used to check your blood pressure, and they spelled it correctly! Amazing. (Thanks mom).

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The hotel TV displays this message for a few seconds when you turn it off.

"BE CAREFUL WITH FIRE.

GOOD NIGHT"

Commentary: It said this whenever you turn off the tv, even in the morning. Not sure what's up with the fire thing, maybe cigarettes? Or maybe they just really don't trust foreigners?

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"Replace to new batteries!"

This wouldn't be so bad, except that it was on my DICTIONARY!!! My JAPANESE > ENGLISH and ENGLISH > JAPANESE Canon Wordtank IDF-3000!!!! This is probably the tool I depend on most not only for learning Japanese and communicating with people!!! Is this what I sound like to them because I've been using this dictionary??? IT'S A GOD DAMN DICTIONARY, PEOPLE!!! PEOPLE WHO MAKE DICTIONARIES SHOULD KNOW THE LANGUAGE!!!

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"Magic Mushrooms That drive you crazy! It's dreamed my life away, God bless you.

WORLD: PRECIOUS LOVE YOU HELD MY LIFE WITHIN YOUR HANDS FOR GOD BLESS ME WITH YOU BELIEVED IN ME THROUGH THICK AND THIN

PEACE: YOU MIGHT SAY THAT ALL YOU I CAN'T GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU'RE ON THE PHONE THE FIRST TIME EVER I TOUCHED YOU

EARTH: I LOVE YOU LIKE THE HEAVENS FOR AS LONG AS LIVE"

Commentary: I think the person who made this young child's shirt had a few too many magic mushrooms.

Location: A childs shirt at practice for the sports festival.

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"PRIME LOVE GIRL"

hmm...

Location: a shirt at JUSCO

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"The Load To the West Side

My private side.

I have driven to the west side with my big one for a long time. On this way. I have seen a dozen of beautiful things. They were not only scenary but also westernpeople's spirits what I found when I had contact with them.

Commentary: Hehe "the Load" hehe "my big one"

Location: a shirt at JUSCO

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"HOMO" DRAWING BOOK

Commentary: The Japanese seem to have some preconceptions about artists...

Location: A drawing book I dug out of my closet.

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